Dealing with Incoming
Audrey, my assistant, types out all my phone messages on her Remington and leaves them on my desk. Every second Wednesday of the Month, I go through them. Without fail. You can always rely on me, I’m like a PBX. I’ll keep working the same way, forever, because people need me. I’m like the backbone of the company. You can’t have business agility without a spinal column, I tell my critics. And if this company ever gets a stiff back, it can just take things easy for a couple of months. That’s what I did after that incident at the Real Ale Festival. And when I came back, the company was running better than ever! Susan, the girl from IT, did a splendid job deputising for me. So what’s the hurry?
Still, I like to keep on top of modern trends. That’s why I love to read these memos. They help me keep up to date with the speed of change in the company.
As a trend spotter, I’ve noticed that increasing numbers of people are asking for Unified Communications. How adorable! I love it when users learn their first technology buzzwords! I could just hug them. I’m half tempted to actually give them one of these Skype links, just so I could see what they look like. (That would involve talking to the IT people so that’s not going to happen. But suspend your disbelief for a while and imagine I did actually set up one of these futuristic ‘video conferences’).
I don’t know what any of these users look like, because I never meet them, but as I picture them in my mind they look like internet sensations. In my mind’s eye, they are all kittens.
But then I look again and I notice they are kittens who look like tyrants. (Which is a common occurrence on the interweb, my son says). These kitten tyrant users, with their aggressive expansionism, have to be held in check. This is office politics (‘small o’ office, not the Office 365 kind, which sounds very interesting and something I must look into in future. Somehow, you install it on one of the shelves of the PBX. Must get myself on a course, somewhere nice. Maybe next year, or when I come back from my caravan in Margate).
Anyway, back to the unreasonable demands of the kitten tyrants, as we call them in the telecoms room.
‘Amanda’ from Marketing (oh yes, them, the second pushiest department in the enterprise) has asked if she can get her business calls to follow her around, as she travels (ha! flits more like) between her meetings. Honestly, that woman treats the office like a hotel – she wants to save money making calls on wi-fi! Don’t try to tell me my job! She actually thinks you can get phone calls to work on any device, whether you’re on an exhibition stand, a presentation or a TV studio! Well, we would all want that, wouldn’t we? I want the air to be made out of beer, but it’s not going to happen.
This is the same Amanda who is allowed to work out of the office. Even from home. Blimey, it’s alright for some – but they’re never satisfied are they? She’ll be asking to bring her own iPad into work next. What a world! It’s a good life if you don’t weaken.
Still, there is always the trusty PBX to rely on. Some things will never let you down.